


Change

by Ayame_Ryuukaru



Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016), Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Captain Reader, Everyone Is Alive, F/M, Original Rebel Characters, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Reader Likes to People Watch, Reader-Insert, Slow Burn, Trying to understand death
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-02
Updated: 2018-08-29
Packaged: 2018-10-26 18:41:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 5,662
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10792464
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ayame_Ryuukaru/pseuds/Ayame_Ryuukaru
Summary: Battle of Scarif left many things open. People move on, some falter, but in your eyes, you have learned to observe, not speak.





	1. Chapter 1

_Chapter One: To View_

 

Your eyes followed the movement. He was an enigma amongst others, and that’s putting it lightly. From you place upon crates of supplies for the ships, you watched Captain Cassian Andor.

He was a handsome, but gruff individual. He spoke how he thought and he didn’t take bullshit. Ever since the Battle of Scarif, he was even gruffer than before. Death could do that to you. You concluded to yourself.

Looking down at your palms, you traced the little scars that littered them. You knew what it was like seeing those you loved dieing in front of you. You also knew what it was like experiencing knocking at death’s door. It changes you, either for the good or the worst, depending on how you decide to look at the situation.

In the case of Andor, you knew he was handling it in his own way. Something you couldn’t blame him for. Hell, his whole team was living proof that death was not a comfortable companion. Erso was steelier and pricklier than ever. That pilot, Bodhi, was skittish and jumpy. The monk, Chirrut, seemed to embrace his new chance at life. The gattling gun wielder, Baze, was more open and caring. Yet, K-2SO seemed to be unaffected, but he too was different somehow.

“You alright, Captain?” You turned your head to look at a pilot to your left.

“Yea, Hensin, I’m good.” He nudged your leg before walking to his X-Wing.

You looked back up to see Andor staring back at you. That was new, at least for him. You met his eyes but he looked away before walking away with his trusty droid next to him. The galaxy was constantly moving, either by the will of the Force or just because it could. Either way, the look on his face was unsettling.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Concern means you are not dead inside

_Chapter Two: The Heart Matters_

 

Leaning against a wall, you looked down to see a red patch growing on your clothing. Gritting your teeth, you saw blood streaming from a knife wound on your left side, right below your rib cage. This is why you hated going on intelligence missions. Spies were the worst, in your opinion.

It all started when Bail Organa, the great senator himself, came to you asking for your help. You were merely minding your own business, running flight schedules, recon and filling out paperwork when the man appeared. He needed help with a certain individual who might have defected to the Empire. So you went to the planet of Coruscant to talk to the individual. Now here you are, bleeding from a fight that left your target dead. If only you could get to your ship, you could get the hell out of here.

The walk was painful, people bumping into your injured side or the occasional stone making you stumble on the walkway. Luckily you had thought to wear a belt before leaving that morning, so that belt was the only thing keeping you from bleeding out completely.

Climbing into your baby, _Angelic Grace_ , you slumped into your seat, gasping for breath. Each pull of oxygen made you wince. That fucker probably nicked something higher than muscle. Or it could have been the kick to your sternum, either way, you were hurting and you were done doing personal favors for Organa. You geared the ship up and flew out of the wretched planet to go home.

“This is _Angelic Grace_ , requesting landing.” You grunted out to Flight Command.

“Welcome home, _Angelic Grace_ , landing pad two for you.” You gave your affirmative before descending to the designated pad.

You sat on the chair prepping yourself for the hell storm about too abrupt. Maybe you could postpone it if you showed them your injuries. Who knows, but the first thing was to get out of the ship and onto the ground.

The landing hatch opened, and surprisingly it wasn’t Organa waiting for you, but rather Andor. His eyebrows were scrunched together in concern and it was breaking your heart.

“You’re late.” You rolled your eyes at his tone.

“Not my fault.” You sassed back.

As if in slow motion, your foot snagged on an upraised piece of metal and you fell forward. You landed in warm arms and you merely grunted as you felt him pull you up and into his chest.

“What happened?” He demanded as he began to sprint to the medical bay.

“Got stabbed by some asshole.” You gritted out as you felt the jarring of your wounds. You didn’t hear anything else as fatigue and blood loss pulled you under.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath is not always good.

_Chapter Three: Well...Shit._

 

“Thank you.” You said softly as you stood in front of Andor.

You were finally released from the medical bay after about five days. Not only did you need surgery to repair your side, which there was a nicked artery, but you also had to have at least two plasma infusions to compensate for the blood that was lost. Overall, you were glad to be out and in the fresh air.

“You’re welcome?” The confusion was evident on his face, more than likely he forgot who you were.

“Right. Anyway, later.” You did a one-eighty before marching to the control room to relay your mission and hopefully go back to sleep for the next week.

By the time you were sitting on your bed, you were yelled at no more than five times, apologized to, and reprimanded. In the end, you told Organa that he could find someone else to do his favors. Which that prompted yet another fight between you two and in the end, you stormed out.

Gritting your teeth, you moved your shirt up to see that your wound was an angry red and was seeping blood. There were small little patches of blood appearing. Sighing, you just flopped backward onto your bed.

You didn’t know how long you were laying down, but you were roused with a knock on the door. A harsh groan escaped your lips are you forced your body to get up and make your way to the door. When you opened it, you saw Andor and he looked annoyed.

“This is for you.” He basically pushed a datapad into your hands before stomping away.

And that is why you don’t deal with people. You thought bitterly as you closed the door. Swiping the screen, you saw that it was a file stating you were being placed on mandatory medical leave until a full coverage by the doctor.

“Fucking great, just fucking great.” You threw the pad onto your bed before you marched to your bathroom to shower.

When you awoke the next morning, you went to the chow hall for some food, a.k.a an apple and a muffin. Your appetite was gone and you were sulking, heavily. You went to one of the hangar bays to sit on top of a crate set so you could think through your emotions.

You couldn’t really blame Andor for being pissy the night before. If anything, being sent as an errand boy was slightly depilating and it was a blow to the ego. Yet at the same time, he didn’t need to take it out on you. You didn’t do anything to him. Maybe inconvenienced him by bleeding on him, but that wasn’t your fault.

“Yo, Cap.” You turned and looked to the pilot next to you.

“Hey, Marks.” He smirked at you before relaxing at your side.

“How are ya healing?”

“Peachily. What did I miss?”

“Nothing much, just a shouting match between Captain Andor and Senator Organa. The two had to be pulled from each other.”

“What the hell?” You turned your full attention to Ruben Marks.

“Yea, it was pretty interesting and rather terrifying. I’ve never seen either of them look so angry before.”

“You’ve never seen Organa and I get into it.” You muttered.

“I heard about that. It’s bullshit you were reprimanded for the death of a defector. That isn’t your fault.”

“Eh, shit happens.” Marks nudged your shoulder in comfort.

“Don’t let it get to ya Cap. You’re a good person and an even better Captain.” He said before walking away.

You shook your head before looking back up at the main hangar door. There stood Andor looking menacing and rather pissed off. Plus he was looking right at you.

You jumped from your spot on the crates and made your way out of side entrance and hopefully away from the irate man. It would have been better if you were still in the med-bay.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hell has nothing on an angered woman.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Some cursing.

_Chapter Four: She is on Fire_

You were leaning against a wall far away from the hangar bay you had been in. Your injured side was seizing in pain and it was causing you to be out of breath. You didn’t think that you had done anything wrong, at least to Andor. Well maybe he was pissed because you had bled all over him, but fuck it. If he was pissed over you bleeding on him, then he could go sulk and be pissed elsewhere, away from you. Wincing, you lifted your shirt to see that there was blood decorating your bandages. Great, more than likely you pulled a stitch or six from your flight from Andor. Gritting your teeth, you began the long march to the outside world, away from everyone, but where you could see and observe others.

Sitting heavily on the dune which was above the command center, you watched as people were milling about, going about their tasks. You could see that some were slouched, those would be the quiet ones, saboteurs or assassins. There were some who were cocky and smirking, they were the pilots. Last but least, there were the runners, these guys were the true heroes of the rebellion. They were the messengers, the intel officers or the translators. They gave vital information from wherever they stayed at and in turn, the Rebellion acted on it.

“What do you think you are doing?” You whipped your head to the left to see Andor looking even more murderous than before.

“Sitting down?” You seemingly innocent answer made the man scowl hard.

“You are supposed to be resting, not _chatting_ with people or being anywhere near others.” You felt your hackles rise.

“ _Excuse you?”_ You stood up and took a step in his direction.

“You were told to rest, not immerse yourself.” His eyes were dark with anger, yet so were you.

“Let me tell you someone thing, Andor. I do not need a glorified, asshole babysitter! I can handle myself and I do _NOT_ need you to dictate to me what I can and cannot do!” You turned around and began to march away.

“Where are you going?” He yelled from behind you.

“Away from you! And away from every fucking person on this base!” You hollered back and you continued down the slope.

Yup, totally knew it. You should have found a better place to sit than on top of the command center.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> His view was not limited, but rather contained.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is Cassian's view!

_Chapter Five: His Thoughts_

Cassian growled to himself as he continued to trek through the base. He should have just grabbed you before you had left. Now he had to find you and get you medical help before you ended up killing yourself.

He wasn’t angry at you, per se, but rather he was angry over the fact that you were injured on a mission that he should have been sent on. Organa had abused his position and sent you instead of sending someone more qualified.

Gritting his teeth, Andor leaned against the wall connecting to the flight hangar. Finding an elusive intel officer was hard. He should know, he was an intel officer. Once he found you, he was going to apologize and at the same time, yell at you for making him worry.

He knew letting his feelings dictate to how he acted was not right, but ever since he met you, two years ago, he felt the need to protect you. That’s why he reacted the way he did to your injuries and forced medical leave.

~~

“Captain Andor, this is Y/N L/N. She’s going to be filling in for Reks Lanin.” Bail Organa said.

“Pleasure.” She said quietly, not quite meeting Cassian’s eyes.

“We don’t need another person for the job, Senator.” Immediately, Andor regretted his words.

Warm, clear e/c eyes narrowed and began to blaze with anger. Even Organa seemed a little worried at the sudden transition of emotions in the girl.

“Not to be rude, _Captain_ , but I am more qualified for the position than you are.” She spat out before spinning on her heel and marching onto the ship, leaving the two men standing there in shocked silence.

“Due to my calculations and limited knowledge, I believe that Miss L/N is angry at the jab of her intelligence and her skill.” K-2 said from his spot next to the ship. Both humans turned and looked at K-2 in silence, making the droid sigh before he too boarded the ship.

~~

“Cassian,” He turned to see Jyn walking towards him. “Are you alright?”

“Yea.” He ran a hand through his hair.

“If you’re looking for L/N, I saw her head to the barracks.” That drew his attention to his friend. “She didn’t look good, and I mean that.”

“Thanks, Jyn.” He lightly patted her shoulder before sprinting to the living quarters.

If Jyn said someone wasn’t looking okay, that mean that someone was either sick or dying and in the case of L/N, she was probably the latter.

~~

She was sitting on the crates like she had nothing to do, but in reality, she was doing her job. She was watching all around her and observing the people, droids and surrounding area. He knew this because of the mission they were forced to go on together, she preferred to wait rather than act. That, in the end, had saved their asses from being captured or worse, dead.

Her overall body language was slumped, but not in the tired sense, but rather trying to seem smaller. He watched as a pilot moved to her side and began to interact in conversation. He couldn’t take his eyes off of her as she answered back. However, she must have known she was being looked at because she turned his way and noticed him watching her. That made her tense up.

~~

She was so light. He shouldn’t be so surprised with her weight, she barely slept, and hardly ate. The amount of blood she was losing scared him. Andor picked his pace up as he hoped he could get to the med-bay before she died, he had a few things to say to her.

~~

Just hearing the ‘thank you’ slip from her lips made his insides melt. At that moment, she went from a respected captain to a young woman. His heart hammered in surprise. In pure awkwardness, he merely accepted her thanks as if it was questioned, one of his stupidest moves ever.

~~

He should have known that they would send him to her. Andor could barely look at her, not because of the bruising, but rather the feeling of potential loss because of the fact that she almost died in his arms. He didn’t mean to be gruff with her, but he was never good at explaining his emotions.

When he saw her on the roof of the Command Center, his insides twisted in fear. She should be resting, not observing others. He instantly wanted to take back his words when he saw the hurt on her face. That pain, it nearly drove him to his knees. He didn’t want to see that look ever again.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> All seeing is not all knowing.

_Chapter Six_

Two days, four hours and sixteen minutes have gone by since your last altercation with Andor. In that time frame, you went back to the medical center to get more stitches and a firm scolding from the head nurse before she saw how upset you were. She prescribed you very, very strong pain killers that would knock you out for several hours. Looking up at your ceiling, you debated whether or not it was worth getting up to go get food. Yet after mere thirty-seconds, your stomach silenced your debate.

Sitting up slowly, you forced a heavy sigh as the new stitches sung with pain. You could handle pain, you could handle your body being broken into nothingness, but you could not handle people being angry at you for something you could not control. Yesterday, Organa had dropped by to speak with you, but being as drugged as you were, you just told him to shove it (nicely as you could) before closing the door in his face before promptly passing out in one of your sitting chairs. That had been a bitch to move once you woke up properly.

Taking a quick shower and then dressing, you were out of your room and going to the cafeteria. As soon as you fed your aching stomach, you could go back to your room and sleep. On your tray when you sat down, was an apple, some sort of meat (even though it looked like gray goop) and vegetables.

“You seem conflicted.” Forcing yourself to breath you lifted your head to see Chirrut looking at you.

“Am I that obvious, Master Îmwe?” His head cocked to the right as if in thought.

“It depends on who is watching. For me, I can tell you are struggling with something, but to someone else, they might think you are just in pain.” You couldn’t help but smile at that.

“Well, Master Îmwe, nothing gets by you.” You said jestingly to which he responded with a soft smile.

“How are you feeling? That type of wound can bring down even the hardiest of warriors.” Chirrut turned his blind eyes directly to you.

“Tired and a little useless.” He made a noise of understanding.

“Rest and do not think of the negative. It clouds your heart and mind, Y/N.”

“Are you speaking of the Force?”

“Indeed, it swirls around you even though you cannot wield it.” That made you push your food over to the side as you thought of his words.

“Every being has some connection to the Force, not just me.” You said softly.

“No, but the connection that it has with you, one would think that you are Sensitive.” He laced his fingers over his staff while regarding how you were shifting in your seat.

“I’ll keep that in mind, sir.” You looked down at your fingers which were dry and peeling.

“Rest, Captain. As for those who have upset you, do not dwell on their words but rather their emotions. You are good at seeing people, but reading is different.” With a parting pat your hands, the blind monk was up and gone from the cafeteria.

You sat down on a set of crates in thought. Chirrut was right. You knew how to observe people, but what they say is different from what they feel.

“Cap.” You turned your head to see Marks next to you.

“Hey Ruben.” You scowled when he patted your shoulder in feigned comfort. “Get back to work.” You scolded softly.

The pilot laughed before going back to his ship. Even though you were still on leave, that didn’t mean you couldn’t keep an eye on things. Crossing your legs over one and another, you pulled out your datapad to makes sure you didn’t have news or orders from the top. Once seeing to the endless stream of crap, you opened the document of shipments. Might as well get some work done, you thought as you worked through what was needed to which hangar and sent the appropriate note to the corresponding officer.

Cassian walked into the hangar three when he noticed Y/n was sitting on the crates. His stomach tightened at the sight of her composure, small and meek. He could tell that she was hurting, not just physically, but emotionally as well. He contributed to that when he meant to do the opposite.

“Give her time, Cassian.” The captain turned his head over to Jyn who was leaning against the blast doors fiddling with her wrench. “She knows her limits but she also knows what she needs to do for the Resistance.”

“Easier said than done, Jyn.” A wry smile appeared on her face.

“You can protect her, but remember, she does have feelings and she has pride. Try not to stomp all over them when she does something that goes against what you want.”

“You sound like Chirrut.” The frown on Cassian’s face made Jyn’s smile grow.

“No, this is advice about how to handle a strong woman to a clueless man.” She didn’t wait for Cassian to reply before she went to a ship to the help the pilot fix his engine.

“Clueless, my ass.” Cassian grumbled looking over the woman whom he respected. She was in her own little world and didn’t notice when he left the hangar.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Words are Weapons

_Chapter Seven: Caring Is Not Always Worth It_

It was a total of three days later when you finally saw Andor. You were still not cleared by the doctors to return to duty, but you had anticipated this. After your daily treatment, you disappeared to a better area to watch those around you. Granted if Andor truly wanted to, he could find you, but he seemed to be ignoring your very presence. That was something you were thankful for.

Gritting your teeth, you hauled yourself in a sitting position on your bed. The wound on your left side was being persistent on screaming in pain. It was something you could live without but sadly, it remained there. Sighing, you looked down at your hands which were marred with little scars. Tracing the most recent, a reminder of deflecting a blade that was aimed at your head, you felt the weight in your heart go to your body, your shoulders slumped heavily.

Giving yet another sigh, you stood up and made your way to your fresher. There you got into a hot shower. The heat was amazing on your body despite the areas which flared with pain at the constant patter of water. When you finished you wrapped your towel around you before stepping out into your room. Sitting on one of your chairs was Andor, something you were not expecting in the least.

“Get out.” You gritted out venomously.

Cassian merely raised an eyebrow at you as he noticed how you limped to your closet. He could see the swelling on your ankle, something that he didn’t notice before. How could he not see that you were sporting a sprained ankle?

“Are you pretending to be deaf now?” You called over your shoulder while taking out a shirt and some leather pants.

“Hardly.” He shifted forward to place his elbows on his knees. “The Commander came by but you didn’t answer. He expressed concern.”

“Sure, I’ll see him once I get back from the med-bay. Leave, this is the last time I ask, Andor.” You marched back into the bathroom to dress and silently praying that he would leave, you really, really didn’t want to deal with his bullshit right now.

“We need to talk.” He called through the door.

“There is nothing to talk about unless you are going to apologize for your asshole attitude and your constant need to be a pain in my ass!” You yelled back.

“My attitude? You are the one who will not let anyone help you when obviously you need it!” A harsh laugh left you when you wrenched the door open.

You came stomping out while glaring at the impossible man. You only had the buttons of the shirt buttoned to cover the bandages but left the others free, showing some of your skin. Limping to your closet once again, you grabbed your boots and slipped your feet into them.

“ _Please_ , don’t make a martyr out of yourself. If I need help, I will ask for it. However, until I need it, I’m fine on my own.” You went back to your bed to grab the holo-pad and knife there.

“You were bleeding out in my arms L/N.” Cassian watched how you flinched at the memory.

“If I could control people and their insistent need to stab me, I would. But sadly, I can’t. I did not intend to pass out, nor did I mean to sully your clothes. Send me the damn bill and I will pay it!” You whirled around and glared at him.

“I am not concerned about some clothing! I’m concerned about your disregard to your life!” He took a step towards you, making you step back.

“Do not act like you care. You didn’t give a shit when we were forced to be partners, don’t give one now.” Your hold on your knife was tight, making your knuckles white. “Get out and if you ever break into my room again, I will retaliate and you will not like it.” Cassian sighed heavily before walking to the door.

“I always did and still do care. You just never saw it because you don’t want to.” Andor walked out leaving you close to tears.

Once you made sure he was gone, you fell onto the floor as sobs overcame you. Dropping the items in your hands, you cradled your face as you just let the tears fall.

Leaning on the door, Cassian heard your sobs as he willed himself not to march back in and hold you. You were too high of a person to cry about someone like him. Sighing, he walked down the hall to go to the commander to request for a long mission of base, to give you time to get away from him.


	8. The Revelation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The truth often hurts, but sometimes can soothe all discourse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for the wait for this chapter. I was not sure how to continue on with the story. Yet, I let my brain go wild, and here you go! Enjoy!

_**Chapter Eight: The Revelation** _

__

Six days later, you were inside your ship rewiring some of the older panels. Andor had left that day on some recon mission, and in all honesty, you felt better. He was away from you and you could concentrate on yourself instead of worrying about whether or not when he was going to randomly appear. The little Astro-droid next to your leg beeped his concerned when a flash of sparks as well as a cloud of smoke blew in your face. Coughing harshly, you pulled yourself out of the mess of wires which waving the black smoke away from you. Leaning forward, you put your head between your legs as you took deep breaths. You did not know how the pilots could operate ships with old wiring. Just seeing the dust drove you batty.

"I'm alright, R9. Anything else that should be cleaned?" The droid beeped out a list which made you sigh. Of course, your main computer needed its cards changed. "Thanks, buddy."

You gave the droid an affectionate pat on the head before standing. A wave of dizziness hit you. While balancing against the cabinets, R9 put himself against your legs, to keep you up-right. Once it passed, you slow walked to the computer.

You didn't want to admit it, but Andor had been right, you were pushing yourself too much. Yet there was too much to do and with the Empire breathing down everyone's neck, you needed to keep on top of everything regardless. Sighing heavily, you slunk to the floor underneath the main computer to see not just dust, but a mound of dirt and grime, making your nose twitch. It was going to be a long day for you.

Hours later, dirty, grimy and just plained tired, you made your way to the shower which just further aggravated you. Your wounds were still a bit fresh and were making their appearance yet again. Leaning against the wall, you dug your fingers into your eyes as you tried to control your emotions.

Even with Andor gone, you felt like he was still watching you. Biting back a sob, you crumpled to your knees as you tired and failed to fight off the round of tears that started to stream from your eyes.

Finally emerging from the bathroom, you dragged yourself to your bed. Sniffling softly, you buried your face in your pillow but stopped when something poked your cheek. Jerking up, you tore the pillow from its casing to see a note as well as a metallic flower, sitting innocently on the mattress.

"What the hell?" You whispered as you lightly turned the flower over in your hands.

It was alive, but it was entirely encased in metal. Putting on your lap, you turned to the note. How did you not notice this when you were sleeping.

_Y/n,_

  
_I'm sorry for how I have been acting, not just recently but when we first met. Our first impressions were not well and that lead to us not being on good terms. I wanted nothing more than to be there for you, but my way of showing it is harder than an ordinary person._

_I'm Sorry,_

_Cassian._

It was definitely his handwriting, but his words were off. Remembering back to what Master Imwe said, you looked past his words and the meaning of what he was saying. Andor was not only apologizing for everything, but also for your reactions caused by his incompetence for conveying his worry.

A fresh bout of tears began to well in your eyes as you realized that this note, this flower, was his way of wanting to start over. Not really as comrades, but maybe friends. Choking back another sob, you hung your head at your own stupidity. Andor might be callous, assholish and one hell of a captain, but he was still a man who was trying to find his way in the war-torn galaxy.

Slumping forward, you curled around the items that Andor left you. Your mind was sluggish and at the same time, you felt, better. That on its own was weird because of the fact that while you were, are, am, whatever, angry with Andor, this not only changed you but changed your overall situation with him.

Closing your eyes, you drifted off, at some semblance of peace despite the chaos both in you and out in the galaxy.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A return is not something that can be handled easily.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to thank you all for all the support you've guys give, through comments, kudos, whatever. Sorry for lonnnnnnng delay of the chapter, but enjoy as this is soon to be the last chapter of Cassian Andor/Reader!

Cassian slumped forward in his chair as he successfully landed the aircraft. Fifteen long days, he was finally back on base. Jyn was annoyed with not just him, but also with how he was trying to ignore his feelings towards Y/N. Rubbing the bridge of his nose he only hoped that she, Y/n, was willing to talk.

Looking up, you saw the ship but you made a quick getaway from the area. You were not in the best state of mind to even speak with Andor. Limping back to your room, you barely entered the room before collapsing against the door. The flower was still on the table, but it was sitting in a crystal jug that you had snagged from the kitchens, the day after you had found it underneath your pillow. Cassian was back and you did not want to deal with him, not yet.

Your thoughts as of late had been of Andor and it was seriously starting to tax you. You knew in your heart that at any second, death could take both of you, but at the same time, you could not handle the potential rejection despite his note saying he cared for you.

Grunting, you let your head bang against the metal door. The knife wound, despite being several weeks old at this point, was taking a long time to heal. While it baffled the doctors, they did note that since it was deeper than usual knife wounds, it was going to take longer. Huffing out another sigh, you forced yourself on to your feet and moved to take a shower. You wanted to look at least somewhat decent before having to speak with people.

Finally dressed in clean clothing, you left your room with your head held high. You were going to act like you were at one hundred percent despite not fully being that. Making your way to the cafeteria, you saw Andor, but his back was to you meaning he was not aware of your presence, yet.

Finally getting some dinner, which was a sandwich, an apple, and a weak tea. You found yourself out by the grove which was a little farther away from the camp. The sandwich was bland but it did its job in filling your stomach which left your mind to wander.

A cracking behind you made you still. A few footfalls later, the person sat next to you.

“You’re back.” You said softly. Andor didn’t say anything other than nodding his head.

A cool breeze ruffled your clothing as you fought to find something to say, or rather find to the courage to say what you’ve been wanting to say. However, your voice was caught in your throat. Fear was pumping in your veins, making you want to run, run away from him, run away from this base and worse of all, run away from this damned war.

“I’m sorry.” The words left your mouth, soft and scared.

“You don’t need to apologize to me. You didn’t deserve how I acted.” Cocking your head, you looked at him through your lashes.

“We were both assholes to each other.” A smirk made its way over his face.

“What of your injuries?” That made you sigh before laying back onto the grass.

“I’m still not cleared for duty.” You half expected him to say something but he merely shook his head.

“At least you are healing, that’s all that matters.”

“I guess.” You sat up and fully gave him your attention. “Start over?” You held out your hand to which his easily covered your own.

“Start over.” The smile you two shared seemed to brighten the area a little be more than before.


End file.
